You don't have to carry it all: Leading Without Losing Yourself

sharonne27
Jun 27
2 min read

Watch your cup! and know when it is empty or full

A few years ago, I thought I was doing everything right.

As the senior HR leader in my organization, I believed my role was to be everyone’s go-to. Need help with a last-minute project? I’m on it. Deadline looming? I’ll stay late. Team member struggling? Let me just take that off your plate.

I thought I was being helpful. Supportive. A good leader.

But what I didn’t realise was that I was slowly burning out—and dragging my team down with me.

The truth is, I wasn’t leading. I was carrying everyone, and it was exhausting.

The Trap of People-Pleasing

If this resonates with you, I want you to know: you’re not alone.

People-pleasing at work is more common than you think—especially among managers who genuinely care. It’s not about being “too nice.” It’s often about deep conditioning: the need to be liked, to avoid conflict, or to prove our value by doing more.

But here’s the thing:

Saying yes to everything doesn’t make you a great leader. It makes you an overwhelmed one.

And overwhelmed leaders can’t build high-performing teams. You can’t coach if you’re always fixing. You can’t empower if you’re always rescuing. You can’t grow your team—or yourself—if you’re constantly firefighting.

Why This Needs to Change (And it Can!)

Here’s what I’ve learned—both the hard way and through supporting hundreds of managers:

Saying no doesn’t make you difficult—it makes you clear.
Boundaries don’t push people away—they help you lead with respect.
Your team doesn’t need you to be perfect—they need you to be present, strategic, and empowered.

And here’s the kicker: your people will actually thrive more when you stop trying to carry them.

They don’t need a superhero. They need a manager who leads with care and clarity.

How We Start Leading Differently

If you’re nodding along, wondering “Okay, but how do I make this shift?”—you’re in the right place.

That’s exactly why I created the Maydaybaiden Membership.

It’s a space for managers who are ready to lead with less guilt, more confidence, and a strong sense of self. Whether you’re struggling with saying no, having tough conversations, or getting your team to step up—this space is for you.

Inside the membership, you’ll find:

Practical tools that actually work in real-life management situations
Monthly drop-in coaching sessions
A growing library of workshops and templates
A supportive community of managers who get it—because they’re walking it too

You don’t have to carry it all. You just need a space where you’re supported as you support others.

👉 Join the Maydaybaiden Membership today and start leading with less guilt, more confidence, and a whole lot more joy.

If you’ve been stuck in the trap of people-pleasing leadership, take this as your sign: It’s time to set it down. It’s time to lead with care—but not at your own expense. We’re building something different here. Something that cares for you while you care for others. We also provide management training and so let's discuss in a discovery call , and explore how I can help.